


"Friendship" (Almost like Marriage)

by Half_SubmergedinPurgatory



Series: TG Prompt Collection [57]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Crack, Dad Arima, Donato wanted to officiate and is very sad, M/M, Married Amon and Kaneki, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 22:55:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14175144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Half_SubmergedinPurgatory/pseuds/Half_SubmergedinPurgatory
Summary: ANONYMOUS:The whole Amoneki marriage thing makes me wonder why Amon wasn't pestered with "Run! It's Eyepatch's husband!" and the like from ghouls, to Amon and the CCG's disgruntlement. Or Donato teasing Haise with, "I'm sure you'll understand once you reunite with your spouse. I approved of the match, you know. It's such a shame I couldn't attend the wedding..." "WHAT." (Later: "Arima, Donato says I'm married? Is that true?" *Arima shatters the pen he was holding out in a burst of Dadrima protectiveness*)





	"Friendship" (Almost like Marriage)

By the time Haise and Amon finally got around to being friends, every ghoul in Tokyo knew what was up. How could they not? Every time Amon showed up to a fight, all bulked up and ready to rumble, a cold chill would pass down his victim’s spines.   
  
They weren’t scared of Amon, of course. They were scared of the single kakugan they could always see glinting in the darkness behind him.   
  
Amon appreciated the effort that his friend was going to to keep him safe, even if the reminder of who had once been ( _Kaneki Ken, the boy who had bitten him and cried in the rain_ ) made Amon’s heart lurch in his chest. Haise always smiled awkwardly when Amon mentioned that the ghouls must know they were friends.   
  
“Ah,”  
  
He would say,   
  
“Yes. Friends. Ghouls are very loyal to their friends, so they take this whole thing very seriously.”  
  
Then he would pause, every single time ( _Amon had counted - it’d been 5 times now_ ), and say,   
  
“Almost like a marriage.”   
  
Haise was a weird guy, but Amon didn’t think anything of it. 

* * *

“Run, run faster, you idiots!”   
  
Cried the ghoul Amon was currently chasing. It was desperately scrabbling away, hopping fences and using its kagune to fling itself over the uneven ground. Haise wasn’t even in the shadows tonight. Ugh, Amon almost wished the ghouls didn’t know they were friends.   
  
“That man is Eyepatch’s husband! Do you nitwits even understand what he’ll do to us if we fight him!?”   
  
Haha…what. Amon’s brain ground to a halt and so did his body. He stopped dead in the alley, watching blankly as his marks escaped.   
  
Haise had said they’d treat their friendship seriously.   
  
Like…a marriage.   
  
It wasn’t weird at all. No way.

* * *

“Fucking shit, go, GO, GO GOGOGOGOGOGOGOOGO!!!!!!!”   
  
Screamed the next set of ghouls Amon was after. Haise hadn’t lurked in the shadows for weeks now - Amon had made sure of it. Had asked him SPECIFICALLY to hang back, drop off the radar, make the ghouls think they weren’t so close.   
  
It wasn’t working.   
  
“Listen, Investigator,”   
  
The ghoul cried out, raising his hands in a gesture of peace even as he kept backing away,   
  
“If you guys are getting a divorce or something, I don’t want any part of it.”  
  
The ghoul was…wow, they were actually crying. They were that scared. Wild.  
  
“Eyepatch is already pretty scary when he’s happy, ok? Like, bro, please, just get back together. I’ll go to jail. I’ll go to Cochlea. I don’t wanna fight that guy over you!”   
  
…  
  
Well, Amon guessed it was ok as long as they went to prison.

* * *

Amon marched the gang of ghouls he’d captured into Cochlea’s lower floors. They didn’t really belong there, weren’t nearly dangerous enough for it, but he had some questions for Donato and was trying to be subtle about WHY he was there.   
  
It wasn’t subtle at all, but he tried ( _and it’s the thought that counts_ ).   
  
Once he finally gets back to Donato, the old man is already smirking like the cat who got the canary. Amon rolls his eyes and sits down, stubbornly refusing to greet him first.   
  
“Koutaro, my son. I can’t believe you didn’t invite me to the wedding. Who walked you down the aisle? Was it Shinohara? Tell me-”   
  
Amon left. 

* * *

There wasn’t anybody left in the CCG who understood ghouls particularly well that he wouldn’t be embarrassed asking. Amon put his head in his hands and groaned. Maybe he should ask Akira after all? He was pretty sure she’d just lie to him for fun, though.   
  
Footsteps stopped right in front of him.   
  
“Why are you laying on the ground in front of my office?”   
  
Arima said. Amon glanced around. Yep, he was in front of Arima’s office. Well, since he was already embarrassed enough that he wanted to die ( _Donato had hummed “Here Comes the Bride” as he walked away_ ), he might as well ask Arima.   
  
“All of the ghouls keep saying I’m married to Haise. Do you know why?”   
  
He asks, avoiding looking at Arima’s face. The Reaper had never laughed before and Amon didn’t want to bare witness to the first time he did. What if it ended the world as they knew it?   
  
Arima didn’t laugh.   
  
He didn’t say anything.   
  
Instead, there was just the noise of something shattering, then ink and blood dripping onto the floor.   
  
“You…”  
  
Arima growls, throwing the pen down,   
  
“You married my son and didn’t even invite me to the wedding!? Who walked him down the aisle?! Was it Shinohara!? I’ll kill him-” 


End file.
